


Virgil's Vlog

by SleepySsnail



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt, Insecure Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 05:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15942452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepySsnail/pseuds/SleepySsnail
Summary: Virgil tries to make a vlog for himself explaining his feelings towards the other three sides being in a relationship.Part of the Logan's Log series





	Virgil's Vlog

##  _August 3, 2018_

“This feels dumber than I thought it would,” Virgil admitted as he looked right at the camera of his phone.

Pulling on his hoodie strings, Virgil stated, “I guess this is a vlog? I dunno, Thomas does them all the time and it helps him so I just thought maybe I could try and it would help me.”

Sitting back in his desk chair, Virgil pulled one leg up and stated, “I’m upset, I guess. Not for any real reason though, I’m just always upset.”

Wincing at the lie, Virgil breathed out deeply and mumbled, “Okay, just gonna be honest.”

Sitting up in his chair, Virgil leaned forward and readjusted the phone he had propped against a stack of books to record himself. Running his hand through his hair, Virgil let out a deep breath before pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands.

“I’m a jealous, selfish, idiot,” Virgil stated clearly, not caring how loud his voice sounded, the walls of his room would quieten whatever he said.

Glancing at the group picture of the sides on his desk, Virgil smiled softly at how photo Roman had an arm slung over Virgil’s shoulders and how open Patton’s expression was, while Logan raised an eyebrow in amusement.

Still looking at the picture, Virgil stated, “I didn’t actually mind when Patton and Logan started dating. It was kinda nice to see the nerd open up and try to accept how emotions work, and he was even nice. Patton just kinda smiled more than usual and always had a reason to talk about Logan.”

Trailing off, Virgil swallowed hard and resisted the urge to put his hands in his pockets or bite his nails.

“It wasn’t bad, but I was a bit upset I wasn’t able to always have their attention,” Virgil continued, “Roman and I got closer. This is weird talking about, but I liked it. Sure we disagreed on things, debated about Disney, fought on color combinations, outfits, anything. But it was nice having someone to rely on when Patton and Logan were too busy for me. For us, I guess.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Virgil bit his lip before reaching forward and shutting off the recording, ending the video of himself and saving it to the device. Taking a breath, Virgil tried to ignore the strange weight in his chest as he went about his business.

##  _August 6, 2018_

“I think Patton’s the most excited to get this new Cartoon Therapy video out,” Virgil said, sitting back against the pillows of his bed. “He won’t stop talking about it, and it’s kinda adorable how much he blabbers on about the fanders being so patient.”

Smiling softly, Virgil mumbled, “And I may have slipped up around Roman about my jealousy, but it’s not a big deal. Okay it is, I’ve been overthinking it for a whole day and I feel sick to my stomach.”

Letting his head rest against the wall, Virgil held his phone a bit higher for a better angle as he continued, “We were just making dinner, pizza with pretty much every cheese, and he wouldn’t shut up about some picnic he took Logan and Pat on and it kinda pissed me off.”

Swallowing, Virgil scratched a spot on his neck while saying, “I got mad because he didn’t seem to notice or care how much it just bothered me. Yeah, I know I try and keep my feelings for them and expressions under wraps so they don’t feel guilty, but I wasn’t trying to hide anything this time. Anyway, Roman kept talking about stuff and I got mad cuz…cuz.”

Virgil let himself go quiet for a moment before admitting, “I really really want to be a part of that. I wanna be a part of them. Being friends is only enough to some extent, but I don’t want to show them how much I need them. If that makes any sense.”

Feeling his face go red, Virgil covered his face with a hand as he said, “I yelled at Roman to stop being so lovey-dovey or to take it to the imagination where someone actually cared. And it hurt him, I know it hurt him because he has this look like a kicked puppy and I just feel like I threw myself back into the role of the villain again.”

##  _August 8, 2018_

“They actually like the video,” Virgil said as soon as the phone showed it was recording. Running a hand through his hair Virgil said quickly, “I was really stressed that after all that work and energy nobody would like it, but they really do.”

Smilling softly, Virgil added, “Patton’s making cookies in celebration. I think it’s Roman who’s downstairs helping him.”

Virgil’s smile faltered slightly as he said that but quickly returned as he said, “Logan thanked me for all I did to help with this video. He almost never does that, and I didn’t know what to say so I just nodded and offered him a fist bump. You know what the nerd did? He thought I was going for a high five and wrapped his hand around my fist!”

Snickering, Virgil held up a hand and stated, “It gets better. He realized where he screwed up and tried to save it by saying something like, ’paper beats rock,’ and he’d deny it, but he was blushing a bit and his ears were turning red.”

Smirking, Virgil stated, “He’s so flipping handsome and his behavior when he gets thrown off his game is cute. Patton’s cute too, just in more of a, I dunno, softer way? Like I wanna protect him and he would let me. Roman’s not cute.”

Virgil slumped back in his desk chair before stating, “I hope he never hears me say this, but he’s just kinda just adorable and strong, and he exudes such confidence that it’s really attractive.”

Breathing a nervous laugh, Virgil said, “I’m not making much sense am I? It’ doesn’t matter, I guess. Today was a good day, no panicking, not too much stress, no arguing with the others. I like seeing them happy even if I’m not. It makes everything worth it. If them being together without me is what they want, I’ll take a step back and let them do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I needed some more Virgil angst in my life, and this seemed to fit the bill. This comes after Logan's Log chapter 14, but I thought it needed it's own story. It can also be read on [tumblr](https://sleepyssnail.tumblr.com/post/177907259069/virgils-vlog)


End file.
